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Me I heard 100 years this week, watching a new game on Prime Video with 10 famous stars on the Internet, zero I’ve heard. To me, YouTubers always have names that sound like MSN Messenger handles, things like Fruit-Nut and Palzone and Kevin the Rotator. Anyway, in preparation for the Would You Rather tournament we have King Kenny, Bambino Becky, Stephen Tries, Elz the Witch and Chunkz, as well as others I didn’t list because I had to sleep.
The name of the show is Will You Like It: Choose to Survive (Prime Video, from 26 June), which is wrongly serious. I thought it would be an offshoot of SAS: Who Dares Wins. I expected scaffolders swinging ropes for exercise, asking questions, people suffering from anemia after drinking from rivers. And, well, it’s an extreme bodybuilding competition, hosted by Romesh Ranganathan. Two groups meet, but on difficult problems that are encouraged by open discussion: Would you prefer X or Y?
You’ve played this at school, at the mall, on walks in the countryside. In its pure form, it’s a tempting thought experiment: would you rather fight a giant horse or a horse man? Would you rather have glass hands or concrete feet? Would you rather sweat milk or poo balls? Intellectually, it’s more closely related to “Can you build X for £1m?”. Except most of the time there is no good way, no cool millions at the end. Trenchfoot itself is a raw anus.
The developers of the game are happy to recognize the nonsense. One problem – would you rather be slippery or sticky? – leads to an obstacle course that must be overcome, with one team covered head to toe in lube and the other stuck to the rail with Velcro clothing. There are huge inflatables. Waste water is crushed. Nostalgic, the main horse of today’s game is an important part of human expression. This show was previously Gladiators, Get Yourself Back by Dave Benson Phillips, or It’s a Knockout. Every generation walks a path. Sometimes in hoof foam.
Do You Instead is designed to be shown twice. Even better, we talked. Similar games, naturally, and viewers ask themselves what to choose. How can you sort tiddlywinks and color while wearing a kaleidoscopic fly mask? If the challenge were to be broadcast on terrestrial TV, it would be “press the red or yellow button on your remote”. Due to the rise of on-demand streamers such as Amazon, this technology was short-lived. But you know what? The YouTubers are loved, especially Chunkz. That man is funny.
The contestants are divided into Team This and Team That – which is so difficult that it’s almost over. They seem to be painting the outside of tin huts in the desert, but it could also be a disused site in Penrhyn. The whole show looks set to cost £420. After a series of seemingly innocuous questions, the contestants have to make difficult decisions – choosing between a mattress or a duvet, a toothbrush or toothpaste. It’s another thing about getting old: if I was on the show I’d be trying to get it off, to get a good night’s sleep.
Ranganathan is always precious, dry and sharp as a cactus, although there is a sense here that he is on autopilot. With this and The Weakest Link, he has added an extensive CV of stand-ups, tours, books, whippings and podcasts. I wonder if the person answering his emails just says YES. However, don’t panic.
If we’re making an IP based on passive chat, I want to be part of the conversation. What about The Icks Factor – a show where people agree to a list of things that they turn off, then do real things in public? Or Blindfold I Spy, where all the players think about the situation? No, I got it. A secret show, where unlikely couples meet celebrities on their shag “free pass” list? And the friend sees them flirting on a hidden camera? That’s gold. Don’t do it without me, TV producers! Would you rather make a million, or drag this thing to court?
