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‘Mein 10 years,” jokes Jack Donaghy of 30 Rock as he watches his employee Kenneth Page return to his desk, “we’ll all be working for him or die by his hand.” I’ve always felt the same way. Katie PriceAKA Jordan, née Katrina Infield, the 90s glamor model turned celebrity-turned-entrepreneur who has changed the headlines, the airwaves and, increasingly, the media over the past 30 years. Cruelty to himself and others around him, the desire to aggrandize himself, the wealth he acquired and used, the wars that were fought, the elimination of atrocities that would have broken any lesser person, the fights, the intellectual curiosity, the look in the eyes of every camera lens that was given to him, the incredible danger of the voice, the clarity of his voice. basilisk … all together is as scary as it is fun. If he chooses to abandon his bonds and turn to global governance – well, I’ll be the first to swear and avoid a more dire future.
The most recent documentary about the price tag is called Katie Price: Nothing to Hide. The Beckhams have done everything since Price left, the Vardys are having a real show, Coleen Rooney is on top – the right management system needs to be restored. So here’s Price again, on the big couch, munching on snacks in his oversized, oversized sweats and pants, 10 days after his recent facial surgery and pledge of allegiance. “You can talk to anyone you want,” says filmmaker Paddy Wivell, who often focuses on less popular subjects (most recently, in Hell Jumper, volunteers for the war in Ukraine).
Wivell appropriately questions Price’s mother, Amy (a fascinating mix of undying love, utter shock and exasperation at some of the decisions in her daughter’s life as she transitions from horse-crazy to sex-bomb), her siblings and other exes. They include her first boyfriend, Gary Bolingbroke, a friend of her stepfather. That this point was not pressed shows that Price’s hand in Wivell’s place remains very strong on the field.
Price’s first known boyfriend, Dane Bowers, gives his insight. “I was known as a fool back then.” Then there is Gareth Gates, who seems to still not have a relationship (which exploded in the tabloids when Price, in what he admits was revenge for denying their time together with his managers, said that losing his virginity to him cured his famous stammer at the time), and Alex Reid. Even Dwight Yorke, who left her pregnant at 23 with their son Harvey, or Peter Andre, perhaps her most famous relationship, does not appear.
The price is guaranteed as before. She did not become friends with Hugh Hefner after his 2001 Playboy cover because she thought it would be like having sex with her grandfather, although she was surprised when some girls “came up” in the bedroom “how young he looked”. She tells of going to the abortion clinic three times when she was pregnant but leaving each time, thinking that just because Yorke didn’t want the baby wasn’t a reason she shouldn’t. He happily admits that the end of the show or the campaigns hurt him, but “me being me I’ve been able to get on with it”.
But telling the truth and revealing it is not wisdom. And it is not given anywhere else, whether Wivell is explaining her life, what she has experienced and the decisions that are not doubted but now visible today, or with her friends and family doing more than convincing us that Katie can be “tough as nails” but that the soft side is also there.
It’s carefully crafted and as sleek as anything else offered by the Price brand. Does Price wonder what he would have done or had he not been so attractive and/or promiscuous? If plastic surgery is not an option? What would he do to achieve those goals? CEO of what? Despot where? Does he want her to let her intelligence get in the way of her instincts with men? Can he do it now? Do they think that this lifestyle is sustainable for another 30 years? Answers come nowhere. It’s not his way.
