Everyone on Musk v. Altman Trial Uses Butt Fancy Cushions

The last remnants testified Wednesday in Musk v. Altman a case. The witnesses made few waves, except for the revelation that Microsoft has spent more than $ 100 billion. its partnership with OpenAI. Instead of focusing on this, I wanted to show you that my friend Maxwell Zeff and I have not stopped talking after spending almost three weeks watching the trial.

In court you are full of butt.

Several hard, wooden benches on the right of the US Supreme Court Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers are reserved for OpenAI and Microsoft lawyers, regulators, and other members of the defense. About 10 people, including the CEO of OpenAI, Sam Altman and the general counsel, Che Chang, have benefited from the black cushions, the most from the Purple brand; $120 from Target—which protects their bums for hours. Some cushions have rounded corners, while others are linear. On Wednesday, Chang put it back on his back, a rare but unprecedented move in court.

OpenAI president Greg Brockman and his wife, Anna, have seen a fair share of the cases — and both have been using white pillows to their advantage. Judging by the tags bursting from the seams, the pillows appear to be from the Coop bedding company, which sells a two-pack of the down-filled pillows for $35.

On Wednesday, an OpenAI security guard carried a purple bag into the courtroom, containing a pillow for each of the Brockmans. Anna gave her husband only a moment to carelessly suffer before subtly feeding him and then being hers. I felt sad OpenAI chief futurist Joshua Achiamwho later took Brockman’s chair but was not spared the cushions. (Finally Achiam found one of the black cushions.)

OpenAI did not immediately respond to WIRED’s request for comment.

One longtime tech lawyer told WIRED that using cushions or pillows isn’t “a trend,” but he also said, “it’s not going out of style.” Personally, he said, he had never seen lawyers use pillows or cushions in his trials, but then again, he had “never been involved in a case that lasted as many days as that.”

The main culprits in this case are in the high-quality leather seats, although the two show that they are being crushed, so maybe the padding is not as strong as it seems.

My last time in this courtroom for many hours was in 2021, covering other parts of the case. Epic Games v. Apple tests. But energy was limited back then due to Covid concerns, so I had a lot of room to stretch out. This time, the courtroom is overcrowded – about 150 people – including up to 90 bench seats.

I decided to bring my cushion about an hour into my first trial day in late April, because, well, these benches are not comfortable. But I didn’t want to be weak. None of the dozen or so other regular reporters — including the pregnant one — appeared to be bringing cushions, at least, in the first place. So I spent six days on the floor with my back hurting by the minute.

Last week, after a very rough morning, I decided to bring in some help. I couldn’t find a well-insulated stadium heating pad, so I settled for the “cooling” pad that came out of the Tokyo Olympics. About two seconds into using it on Wednesday morning for the first time, I ordered that this is not useful. They were too small and thin to provide any relief. My back hurts when I write in anger Musk-inspired jackass mugwhich is said to have once had its own pillow.

After four hours, I gave up on the pillow completely. But I saw a reporter from the New York Times who eventually collapsed, and a courtroom photographer—who has a very beautiful cancer—stayed on the pillows. Maybe I’ll find a better way next week, when Gonzalez Rogers hears arguments about potential penalties.

Maxwell Zeff contributed to this report.

This is a copy of Photographs by Maxwell Zeff Letter of ethics. Read previous articles Here.