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To watch Dear England (Sunday, 9pm, BBC One) – the BBC’s adaptation of James Graham Olivier’s award-winning play – you must first understand the unimaginable damage to the national psyche that came from Gareth Southgate’s penalty miss in the semi-final of Euro 96. For those born outside England or too young to remember, imagine the apocalypse mixed with the death of your childhood pet and you’re almost there. I was 11 at the time and almost thirty years later I still remember going to bed crying when my father explained to my tear-stained pillow: “This is what it means to be an England fan.”
Better get your agent on speed dial: the four-part fictional account of Southgate’s transition as England manager begins with a real picture of his misses. Flash forward to 2016 and England is in crisis, the men’s team is falling from the Euros to Iceland as Brexit looms large. Meanwhile, Southgate (Joseph Fiennes, reprising his iconic West End role) – now middle-aged and in charge of the men’s under-21 team – is watching football on TV and looks troubled.
The first 10 minutes are an introduction to anyone unfamiliar with English football in the mid-2010s. There is an incident where manager Sam Allardyce was asked to resign by the FA when he helpfully explained to viewers that he had only played one game and had been caught giving illegal transfer advice “over a pint of wine”. An angry Allardyce insists this is what people want from an England manager: a pint of wine (but maybe winning a game). Cue Southgate – the gent who buys croissants for the staff and remembers the cleaner’s name – waiting in the stable to be asked to be a caretaker teacher.
Wait, there’s more to show! With the World Cup in two years, FA bosses tell Southgate/viewers, and the media and fans are foaming at the mouth. No caretaker manager has ever been in charge for a long time, Southgate also describes two men who should know that.
Once the script gets past this, it’s a fun, fun ride. We start with Southgate finding his young players when their names appear on the screen like in Ocean’s Eleven – which is useful because some of the actors don’t look like their real friends (Wayne Rooney will be very happy, that’s all I can say). Next, Southgate hires psychiatrist Dr Pippa Grange (Jodie Whittaker) to help deal with the men’s emotions. Or as he says, “Come help me fix England with me.”
If you don’t buy the link between football and the rest of the world, these winks to the camera may seem a little off. At one point, Southgate actually wondered aloud if there was some other universe in which he hadn’t missed that penalty and we’d all be in a happier, more confident England.
But arguably the most obvious weakness is the play’s strength. This, of course, is not just a show about throwing the ball into the net. Named after Southgate’s open letter to fans in 2021 after falling out with the club “take care“, the script is meaningful precisely because it creates many topics: from the idea of English and the changing of men’s attitudes to racism among football fans.
Fiennes has a wonderful vulnerability as Southgate, taking on great values without falling into caricature. As the team’s psychologist, Whittaker has an interesting exchange with the players themselves it moved me almost like seeing a riding unicorns again. I’m not saying I had a boyfriend but after 45 minutes I found myself yelling: “Come on, boy!” on the player playing Jordan Pickford about the game I saw the results of ten years ago.
By the time a loincloth-clad Southgate was on the pitch celebrating England’s first goal-scoring win at the World Cup, I had to remind myself that they won nothing in the end. Unless it has another universe? It’s hard to follow the tears.
