Physical Address
304 North Cardinal St.
Dorchester Center, MA 02124
Paul McCartney famously says that he discovered the song Yesterday in a dream. I thought that was an artistic license, but then it happened to me with this picture. I had a dream of a half-animal, half-woman, standing alone in the middle of a field, with trees around him.
I was working on several pictures, called Madreabout the image of femininity. The media in Bolivia always portrays women in a feminine way. It’s not uncommon to see a woman who shows a lot of masculinity and isn’t labeled as gay – there’s nothing wrong with that.
When I was 14, I wore only men’s clothes for about a year, which affected my self-esteem more than my gender identity. I’ve never liked clothes that hug your body, like skinny jeans. My mother wasn’t surprised that I was gay, she just understood that it was part of how I presented myself. My doctor used to say that I have masculine traits: I am ambitious, competitive; I am embracing the masculine in me.
So in this picture, made in 2019, I wanted to show a woman who is comfortable in her masculine energy. The cow that the woman is holding is part of the clothes that the dancers wear year tokoriBolivian dance. This type of dance is inspired by colonial times and this one imitates the Bolivian bull, which is different from the Spanish – the men only mock the bull (instead of killing it). A bullfighter, a real bull, is a symbol of masculinity.
I wanted to have nudity in my picture, because I love women’s bodies. Nudity is always sexualized in Bolivia and the first time I saw nudity in pictures was a US artist Ryan McGinleywhere bodies didn’t feel sexual, it seemed rebellious to me. To be naked is to be alone. It doesn’t have to be sexual, or suggestive of desire. It may just be comforting to be in your own skin.
The woman in the photo is Marta Salinas, a Bolivian actress who lives in Argentina. He had returned to my city, Cochabamba, and when I saw him play I felt his strength and how he was in control of his body.
I often meet people before I photograph them. I want to get to know them, express my thoughts and hear what the other person has to say. With Madre, I started from the idea that women are offshoots of the Mary Magdalene or Virgin Mary archetypes. I would ask them: Do you feel like Mary Magdalene or the Virgin Mary? And Martha, of course, was Mary Magdalene. But it’s always an interesting question to ask, because some of those who were present said: “I’m mother Mary, but can I please be Mary Magdalene in the shooting?” I thought that was very beautiful, and it also shows that we are not one or the other.
I live in Paris now but when I was working in Bolivia, my mother became my team and another beautiful part of the work. He started as my driver, because I don’t drive well, and he’s a teacher – that’s why I’m drawn to culture. I was very insecure (sometimes still am) about my work and my feelings, but with my mother, it was easy. Even if we do the whole session and no pictures come out, they just make eye contact and move on. It was his idea to shoot in this garden, because when I told him about my dream, he remembered my friend who grows fruit and keeps bees outside the city.
Marta was amazing. I think you can see that he’s an actor from his looks, and he uses his body as a tool, because his body, to me, corresponds to this power, and he stands with such dedication.
Marisol Mendez is the winner this year Saltzman-Leibovitz Award. The selection of works of selected artists will be at Photo London, Olympia, until 17 May.
CV of Marisol Mendez
Born: Cochabamba, Bolivia
Above: Winning the Saltzman-Leibovitz award. The selectors, nominees, and judges are all people I respect and admire, which made the recognition very meaningful.
Top tips: Pictures are never wrong. They have histories and feelings embedded in them, shaping reality as they are drawn from. Working with images is a challenge, asking not only what is seen, but how it is made to be seen.
