Lindsey Santoro: ‘My problems are mine – I caused them, I’m the problem!’ | | Section

Who was your first crush?
I loved Lee Evans because of the way he ran on stage. I want to be like him but physically I can’t. I try to do that sometimes; I will move my arms. Now I understand why he was sweating so much!

Very nice heckand?
I was doing a gig and this woman was drunk and talking very loudly. I said, “Hello, what’s going on here?” And he said, “Don’t worry about me, love. And I was like, OK. Well, that’s smart.

Do you remember the worst gig ever, now it’s funny?
It was a hotel in a motorway service station. And it was on a flat disco floor in the hall, like the floor of a wedding party. They had round tables… If you go into a play and it has round tables, leave, because the audience is not looking at you. I was only doing it for five minutes. DJ was sitting behind me at the time. The lights in the room were on because they were serving dinner, which was hot chicken and chips. All I could see was behind people’s heads, stealing papers, people sucking chicken. I thought, “Is this a joke?” And it turns out, 80% of them, yes.

What can audiences expect from your new show, It’s Like How I Got Here?
The thing is: I haven’t changed. I will not change. These are the problems I have. And the problems I have are mine, because I caused them. I am the problem. I mean, between you and me, Liam, I only talk about fans, arseholes and willies. But you can’t put it in the Guardian. Well, you can if you want. Knock yourself out!

Your nan once said ‘stop laughing now I’m going to cut your hair’. As you return to Edinburgh, has that attitude changed?
No. My nan follows me on Instagram and is in her 90s. I’ve hidden a lot of stories from her, but I can’t hide what I write. But then I realized that maybe he is just as bad as the rest of us. When I made The Weakest Link I thought he would like it. But I did so badly that I was ashamed. They say things like, “Oh, you’ve made your point now.”

Yours The final show in 2023 was decided the best of edinburgh the new one and he won NextUp is big award in joke. Has the pressure occurred?
Last time, I was working full time but still doing my remote work. I was there with my son and my husband and there was so much going on, I couldn’t imagine. So when I was selected I thought: this is crazy. But this year… You know when you play video games and suddenly you know where all the hidden objects are? That’s how I feel. I’m just running a little, I’ll pass quickly and then I’ll beat the boss. I mean, you can tell yourself all you want, but the pressure is still on if you have to be the prize pig in line.

Do you have it? before it comesshowing traditions?
I like to have bananas. I also like to play less, because I walk a little more on stage. I realize I need to warm up. But what I’ve been doing lately is giving people what I’m doing in the room, because I’m sitting down and people are like, “Are you okay?”

Are there bugs from the game world?
When you have a bad gig (everyone does sometimes), someone comes up to you afterwards and goes, “Oh, that was great.” I said, “Didn’t you feel better? You were in the same room as me? I think it’s people blowing your smoke. But if it’s bad, just say it’s bad.”

What has always been yours beloved game?
The gig itself was terrible. He was in a social club in Redditch. Apart from Andrew Bird, I don’t remember who was there, but there was no green room. We were almost trapped by the tables that were placed on one side. I thought: this is going to be bad, but let’s just enjoy ourselves. Then the place gave us a silver plate of sausage, white bread and butter. There was more food than anyone could eat. Birdie is a vegetarian, so I sat there for the whole show eating sausages, bread and chips. And that was my favorite gig I’ve ever done because every single one of us killed our butts… and it was amazing. But I will do anything involving carbs and meat.