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Football’s premier league has reached its midpoint, which means it’s time for isotonic drinks, orange slices and social media analysis.
From crying cult heroes to water dancers, from panto villains to mouth-watering experts, here’s what we’ve covered from the World Cup so far…
Emma Hayes mocks trolls
He is one of Britain’s best coaches, having won seven WSL titles with Chelsea and leading the USA women’s team to Olympic gold. But sadly, ITV star Emma Hayes continues to attract abuse online. When he came up with the “chalk of the road”, many viewers saw it as brilliant and amazing. Others enjoyed criticizing her appearance or saying that she was showing things from the kitchen.
Hayes had the last laugh. She responded by wearing a jacket with a feminist slogan: “They will change the world”. And he casually told viewers: “Let’s focus on the game. I know it’s difficult for some of us at home.”
Gary Lineker switches sides
Former BBC linchpin Gary Lineker he has been enjoying his new freedom, working for Netflix in the US while labeling his former employers as “lifeless” for airing the “green box in Salford”.
The generous-eared fan made a surprise return to free-to-air television as a pundit on ITV’s Germany v Côte d’Ivoire news – albeit with a tongue-in-cheek approach as main anchor. “Thank you for joining us on ITV for this one,” he greeted viewers. “Another day, another game, another way.” He was immediately interrupted by reality guest Laura Woods, who replied: “Gary, that’s my job!” “I’m sorry,” replied Lineker. “Old habits.”
Finish in order
Japanese fans stole the hearts of the locals by staying after games to clean the stadium. Instead of going to the exit at the final whistle, he whips the bins full of rubbish. The act of respect, which has become synonymous with the appearance of the World Cup, comes from the Shinto religion, which believes that everyday and spiritual things are worthy of respect. “A bird leaves nothing behind,” it says.
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Many people are hailed as an example of the spirit of the sport – and not just by the fans. The players appear to have left their dressing room “spotless” without being asked after the 2-2 draw against the Netherlands. You’re welcome back anytime, guys.
Expert bird
Forget Zayu the jaguar, Mexico’s official Fifa mascot hanging out with them. The World Cup’s favorite animal is Merlin, a duck who wears a tiny Mexican shirt and customized socks. The ecstatic soccer fan played to a cheering crowd after Mexico’s 2-0 win over South Africa in the tournament’s opening match.
Merlin met Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum, walking on stage at her morning press conference. Merlin’s feathers are undisturbed by his new found fame and he happily stops to take selfies.
Pundit calls James Corden a ‘wanker’
US Token expert Alexi Lalas has been infuriating viewers with his clear, vague ideas. Fox’s teammates Thierry Henry and Zlatan Ibrahimović seem to feel the same way, though refusing to pass the ball to the former USA player while playing in the studio.
However, Lalas gave one golden moment when, after the trailer for After Hours With James Corden, he described Corden as a “full-kit wanker” living on the air, perhaps not understanding British slang words. Henry’s face was a picture.
Resist the breath of hydration
They should have been brought in to treat the players better but FIFA introduced alcoholic drinks between each half and it backfired badly. He is widely criticized for disrupting the flow of the beautiful game – at least when it rains in the stadium – and is widely suspected of being a money grab, turning football into a four-part format for advertisers.
In fact, the only figure more unknown than three minutes of swimming is Fifa President Gianni Infantino, who managed the measure. Every time the camera pans to a large Dr Evil-esque head on the big screen, he is booed and whistled.
Soggy and not sad
Belgium chose the wrong position for the team to match in the opening match against Egypt. He forgets to think about sprinklers, which means that head coach Rudi Garcia got very wet.
He stayed for the next 20 minutes wet in the ground, he looks like he’s entering a wet T-shirt competition, while his players struggle to follow his instructions.
Veteran Keeper destroys the internet
The first hero of the tournament was an unexpected one: the little-known Vozinha, a 40-year-old Cape Verdean. When the small island nation faced Spain, 65 places high in the world rankings, they produced several impressive goals to keep a clean sheet, helping the players to an impressive 0-0 against the European champions.
At the final whistle, Vozinha was named the match’s captain and broke down in tears on the pitch. “I cried because I grew up with my grandfather and unfortunately he passed away a few years ago,” he said. I also cried because my mother couldn’t find the money for the visa. Vozinha’s loved ones may not have been there for him but fans around the world were. Overnight, his Instagram followers rose from 40,000 to more 15m to.
Right now our Ally
It’s a privilege with the ITV commentary team. While Lee Dixon’s descent absorbs all the excitement in the room, Ally McCoist has the opposite effect. He combines humour, interest and insight, all delivered in a sweet Lanarkshire brogue.
The much-loved McCoist also inspired his own a drinking game created by comedian Olaf Falafel but beware: playing at home can cause a lot of frustration. Make no mistake, Fletch, it can be done.
‘Mom, I hate having my picture taken’
England’s official FIFA team photos have been causing a lot of excitement as they appear on screen as the starting players are announced. Declan Rice is sunburnt. Dean Henderson gives the evil eye. On Mock the Week’s World Cup special, winner Anthony Gordon was pictured Diana, Princess of Wales, Clare Balding, “gay nana” is “a picture you’d put on the front of an aunt’s funeral service”.
Fullback Reece James was fired for keeping his hands dry at his side. Social media groups likened him to a table football figure or a shy schoolboy who was told to get down and show his grandparents their new England kit.
Fries and that?
Well, it was a game of preparation the night before the meeting but it provided an important talking point. Those who think that North America does not really “receive” football were in the field the day when healthy food appeared in the England v Costa Rica match.
As Declan Rice prepares to take the corner, behind him are the indifferent spectators in the front row, sitting at tables and eating all the food alfresco. So civilized, until the wrong license ends up in your soup.
